Trip to San Francisco

So a few weeks ago my girlfriend and I were in San Francisco and I never got around to writing about it so here is a brief wrap-up.

North Beach
By far the most fun neighborhood in San Fran. Tons of great little bars serving Irish Coffees and Cocktails, and miles of Italian restaurants. On the weekends Columbus ave. is packed with people and everyone is having a Grand Old time. For a short while I was one of those people. Now I'm a poor bastard sitting behind a desk typing away on a computer.

Alcatraz
Amazing. Definitely a must see. Alcatraz was a jail. According to our tour guide, a jail is this place where people are forced to go when they do bad things that make other people sad. I found that to be very interesting.

Chinatown
Every guide book I came across said whatever you do in San Francisco you have to make sure you check out the "Chinese Market" on Stockton ave. And they were so right. There is nothing more exciting than watching Chinese people buy groceries. I'd spend a few minutes watching an old chinese man inspecting a tomato, and then I'd turn my head and watch a young asian women trying to decide between 3 different types of squash. I mean it was so exciting. It was kind of like when I go grocery shopping, only these people were chinese. I think they should start doing tours of Jewel Grocery store by my apartment. I could totally see people coming from around the country to view me buying frozen pizzas and searching for the cheapest case of beer.

Haight/Ashbury
This was the famous "ground zero" for the summer of love. We took a cab to the intersection of Haight & Ashbury expecting to see all kinds of music memorabilia, or like a monument or something. But instead what do we find at this world famous intersection? A GAP, and a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream!?! We thought we'd at least see a few hippies, but all we got were girls in khakis gorging themselves with Ice cream. Yikes!

Fisherman's Wharf
Its kind of like Navy Pier in Chicago. Tacky, Sterile, a god forsaken tourist trap. The only difference is that they have sea lions. Sea Lions are sweet.

Muir Woods
Big trees. We saw them. They were huge. seriously. for real. not for fake.

Wine Country: Sonoma County
Nothing like going on your first wine tour. You go into these little private vineyards and try all these high class wines with a bunch of snooty people. When I saw Sideways, I thought wine connoisseurs were these real hip, cool people. Then I actually saw some jackass sniffing his glass of wine and then says to the bartender, "I think I smell a hint almond, with the smallest pinch of cinnamon." I have changed my mind.

Then there is this other phenomenon where people spill out perfectly good wine into a spill bucket after they have tasted it. I thought to myself, man that just doesn't seem right, wasting good wine like that. So vineyard after vineyard, I drank every last drop of wine we tasted.

Two hours later I was wasted. But not only was I wasted but since I drank like 80 different types of wine in a short period of time, I was also sick. Turns out I too am a jackass.

Bad Neighborhoods
At one point during the trip I talked my girlfriend into walking instead of taking a cab. The only problem was I didn't know where I was going. Next thing I know we are in one of the worst neighborhoods in San Francisco. You know, with a currency exhange and a liquor store on every corner, people openly dealing drugs and carrying concealed weapons? As soon as we realized this we grew very concerned as it wasn't the place for pasty white yuppies to be strolling through. And as we started "power walking" out of the neigborhood, a kind african american man carrying a bat yells out, "that be a fine ass woman" as my girlfriend walks past him.

And yes he was right, but maybe we should have taken a cab.

San Francisco was a good time.

The Great Standoff 2005

The current temperature in our apartment stands at 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

I can see my breath

I am typing on my computer while wearing gloves.

I have two sweatshirts, a jacket and a hat on.

Our landlord still hasn't put the heat on.

We would call and complain but the last time he talked to us he claimed he wanted to raise our rent.

After going through our first year lease, we are now paying month to month for the apartment.

It is well within his means to raise our rent. It is also well within our means to move out.

It is a standoff.

If we continue to wait and the heat is not put on, the pipes will eventually freeze and burst. Then we will also have to move out.

This is fucking hilarious. I can see my breath. It is difficult to type with gloves on.

I have a hockey game tonight and I'm excited because it will probably be warmer at the ice rink.

To add insult to injury the heat is also currently not working in my car.

Tonight I actually considered sleeping at the office.

Yeah we could easily afford the higher rent.

But its a matter of principal.

You probably think i'm an idiot.

You may be right.

Halloween and Mystery Dinners

The Day
Halloween. How come I never realized when I was alot younger that it is much easier to go to Target and buy 5 bags of snacked sized candy bars and sit in front of the tv watching Arrested Development while gorging myself with hersey bars instead of walking miles of suburban sidewalks in the freezing ass cold to receive "treats" from random strangers.

The Costume
Upon my very misguided suggestion my girlfriend and I dressed as Elements for Halloween. You know those things on the periodic table? I don't think i've ever had a costume that more people thought was so terrible and utterly unfunny. I was Boron and my girlfriend was Phosphorus. She informed me a few weeks ago that most girls usually wear slutty costumes on Halloween and this idea would not fit into that category. I suggested that she be "slutty phosphorus." She was not amused.

We both wore poster board with two holes poked in it and a shoelace draped around our necks. It had our Element's symbol, atomic weight, and atomic number. We went to two parties and let me tell you. People hated these costumes.

People would come up to me at random intervals throughout the party asking "Dude, why the hell are you dressed as an element?"

I gave them all the same answer. "I love science."

So this poor girl stuck by me through this whole elements situation. I can't describe how great it feels to have someone who will stick by you through thick and thin, even if you have a terrible sense of humor, and tend to laugh rather loudly at your own excrutiatingly unfunny jokes.

She took it all too well. It just didn't make sense. Why was she so willing stand by me as I proceeded to make a fool out of both of us?

The Payback
Then a couple days later she handed me my invitation to the "Mystery Dinner" and it all made sense.

Now I know you are thinking, "Mystery Dinner? that sounds pretty sweet, people trying all sorts of new foods and like eating dinner with blindfolds on or something?"

Yeah thats what I thought a Mystery Dinner was the first time around a couple months ago.

I am now much more the wiser.

In reality its this dinner party where you have to act as some random character and play out a "Murder Mystery" with a group of people. For the last "Mystery" the part I played was "the happy guy." This starring role did not work out too well for me though however due to the fact that I am a grumpy bastard, in particular with things like Murder and Mystery. And when the two come together into a dinner party/theatrical extravaganza it's sometimes too much for me to handle.

But how can I complain? Last weekend she was a part of the periodic table.

The Truth
God, I love science.