Hamsters, Dancing, and Diet Root Beer

Some days I get home from a rough day at work and I grab a few beers, go to hamsterdance.com and stare at my computer screen blankly for three hours listening to that 15 second song on loop over and over again with all those goofy hamsters hopping and dancing around and I forget about all of my worries.

Sometimes I like to go up to someone's car that looks like it hasn't been washed in months and write "wash me" on the back with my index finger.

The other day our bath tub and sink starting clogging. Theres nothing like waking up to 5 inches of muddy, soap scummy standing water in the morning.

This week I wanted to add a little excitement in my life. So I bought Diet Root Beer instead of Diet Rite.

Its funny when you go to the grocery store for an hour and buy everything under the sun except that one item that was the sole reason you went to the store in the first place.

If I didn't have that weekly ice hockey game and those beers in the upstairs bar overlooking the rink, I would probably lose my mind. Theres no better way to relieve stress after a shitty day of work than punching some guy in the face that's wearing a different color jersey than you. Well except for hamsterdance.com of course.

I hate when you go to the movies, and you see what you think is a hilarious movie. And you chuckle, and laugh and guffaw and snort and all that stuff and your date tells you that it was the worst movie she'd ever seen and you realize that she is probably right.

I don't know why I even bothered to call my cell phone company to complain about my ridiculously high bill. It always ends the same way. Some 19 year old high school drop out punk kid working for 9 dollars an hour tells me, yes you did talk 3 hours over your minutes, yes you were in roaming, yes you are a huge idiot, yes you do still owe us 150 dollars.

I need a drink, so I am going to have one.