Right About Now

I think I just realized where my life is going after I got home from work, laid out on the couch, and drank a Gin and Diet Tonic.

These are the types of things that typically scare me.

Kind of like when you're invited to two different parties on a Friday Night but instead fall asleep at 10 o' clock from utter exhaustion cause they worked you like a dog all week.

Or when you're in the office lunch room eating the boring sandwich that you made at 6am while reading a copy of Newsweek from two months ago and you hear bunch of old hens talking about the latest innovations in tupperware and for a split second you actually consider putting in your own two cents regarding your favorite plastic microwaveable food containers.

Or when you cook a frozen pizza one night and you take it out of the oven to let it cool before eating it. And you remember that it wasn't that long ago that the second a pizza was removed from the oven you were there with five guys fighting to jam as many pieces of pizza down your throat as possible, not caring how badly the roof of your mouth was burned, or even if you had in fact tasted the pizza, just as long as you got more pieces than the guy next to you.

Or when you go to Jiffy Lube and the fucking grease monkey changing your oil tries to convince you that you need a new air filter, and a gas cap, and your car needs to be "winterized", and new transmission fluid, and your differential fluids need to be adjusted, and you're like "how bout you just fucking change my oil like I asked in the first place," and you wonder what ever happened to the good old days with the baseball cards inbetween your spokes and the bell on your right handle bar.