The Election and a Book Update

So thank the fucking lord that the election is finally over. I'm so sick of hearing about politics. I'm sick of the bland guarded conversations we seem to have at my office. I'm sick of a bunch of actors and rockstars constantly telling me that I need to "Vote or Die," I'm sick of Michael Moore and his big fat mouth, I'm sick of Bill O'Reilly and his as well. The Fox News Channel makes me want to gag and Dan Rather and his liberal bullshit will not be missed. We had the choice between two really shitty candidates and one of them won by a small margin. Let's move on. Let's get back to the things that matter.

Who is Paris Hilton screwing at the moment and when will the tape of it be released on special edition DVD? Who is Donald Trump gonna say "You are no longer employed" to. When is the liquor store down the street gonna have a really good sale? When is Rolling Stone Magazine going to actually start writing about music again? Why did the woman at the "Hair Cuttery" tell me she was going to "pimp out" my hairstyle, but instead gave me the worst haircut of all time? When will a 40 hour work week actually mean 40 hours? When will I save enough money to put those 20 inch rims on my SUV and get those platinum grills that I spend all day dreaming about? Will there ever be a time when I'll be able to my laundry without having to pump a fist fulla quarters into the damn machines? Wheres Waldo? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? When is that fucking book you wrote going to finally come out? These are the things that matter.

Without Further Ado I once again bring to you Monday, November 8th the day my first book "Two Years in Electronic Form" finally comes out.

Now I will answer some questions you guys are asking:

How will I obtain this so called book? will it be at my local book store? Unfortunately it won't be available in Barnes and Noble or Borders or any respected book store because they know better. I'm not gonna lie, this book is trashed, and by trashed I mean the opposite of sober.

Okay so it's not in a bookstore, then where is it?
It is going to be available through through a link posted on this website next monday November 8th.

Are you going to be having any book signings happening in the next couple of weeks? preferably in the Northwoods of Wisconsin?
No I am not planning on signing any books. Especially not in the Northwoods of Wisconsin. I have found that signing autographs detracts from more important things I could be doing like not getting chicks, drinking cheap beer, and working ridiculous hours in a drab, lifeless office.

Did you really write a book or is this just going to be book of really crappy stick people drawings that you did at 3am some night with words like "beer", "chicks", and "not sober" scribbled randomly throughout the pages?
Yes I actually wrote a book. I personally can't believe it either. Its 166 pages of pure idiotic writing, I promise you.