Thursday, July 15, 2004

The High School Reunion

So on Saturday I went to my 5 year high school reunion and as expected it was an awkward/uncomfortable experience. I walked into a bar called John Barleycorn in Chicago and was welcomed by a hundred faces I hadn't seen in years. In seconds the reunion organizer slapped a name tag on me and before I knew it I was unleashed into the madness.

There's nothing worse than showing up sober to a high school reunion and after going through the first hour relatively sober I can honestly say I wouldn't recommend that route for anyone. It's kind like being thrown into a meat grinder. The second you walk to the bar you are approached by 20 different people, some whos names you don't remember ,all wanting to ask you " How are you, What are you up to?," then you exchange pleasantries for the next 4 minutes until there is that awkward silence until you can think of a way to leave without being rude to which you usually aren't successful at. The good thing is that after 4 or 5 drinks that awkward silence kind of just disapears until everything is well.... blurry I guess.

There were all kinds of different people there.

Mr. I used to be fat and people made fun of me but now I'm skinny and hip.

Ms. quiet, not so attractive girl, who is now a knockout.

Mr. I used to have a full head of hair but now shaved my head completely bald.

Mrs. I just got married and I feel the need to bring my husband to show off like a trophy.

Ms. girl who used to be really hot, but is no longer due to eating one too many bowls of ice cream with "jimmies" in college.

Mr. short, skinny guy who spent the last 5 years lifting weights and cramming creatine down his throat, in hopes of greatly increasing his chances of winning the good old fashioned bar fight.
Ms. I plan going to college till I get every degree possible and am 50 years old or until I get knocked up.

Mr. I was total idiot in high school but now have a hot shot job and am making more money than you, and I want to make sure you know it.

Mr. I used to be total prick in high school but want to convince everyone tonight that I have turned into a halfway decent person although I really haven't.

Mr. I used to be complete nerd in high school but now am a bonfide badass.

Ms. I used to date your buddy in high school, but now I make out with chicks.

And then theres me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm pretty much just as much of a jackass as I was in high school. The only difference being that I don't live in my parent's basement anymore. God I love the sound of that.