The Return of the College ID

I graduated from college more than a year ago yet for some reason I still think that it's perfectly acceptable to use my college id everywhere.

As long as I don't lose my old college ID, I could potentially be getting student discounts for the rest of my life.

18 holes of Golf for $30, i think not. not with my student discount.

6 dollars to get into the "Innovative Farm Tools of the 18th Century" exhibit? Not bloody likely. When I'm pretending to be a college student, I'm checking out groundbreaking hand shovels from 1832 for only $2.

College night at Joe's Booze Hut, 2 for 1 beers w/ college id? If anyone asks I'm a Neurobiology major with a minor in mechanical engineering.

$18 to go to the movies? Fuck that. If I bring a girl to the movies, it's "hey honey do you by chance have your old college id?" and in seconds I'm up to the ticket window saying, "I'll have two student tickets for Bloody Army War Guns 2, please."

It's all part of my instructional manual for life called, " A Beginners Guide to being Cheap, Immature and Permanently Single."