Friday, May 21, 2004

Bar ATMs and Latex

There's nothing worse than when you go to a bar downtown and notice that you have absolutely no money in your wallet. You pace around the bar for awhile and you realize that the only way to get a drink without using your credit card and running up a tab is to go to the ATM machine hidden in the darkest corner of the bar that is always a machine for some shady offshore bank. You look name of the bank on the side of the ATM and its something like, "Southwestern National American Continental Bank of Whatever the Fuck" and you know right away that you're screwed. You put your card in and try to take out 20 bucks and immediately the dreaded screen pops up that says, please accept the $4.00 "you're totally fucked and there's nothing you can do about it because you're our bitch charge."
And 5 minutes later you're sipping on your 8 dollar glass of beer feeling like a total ass.

I was listening to the radio on the way home from work and heard what had to be one of the most ridiculous commericals that I've ever come across on the radio for Durex condoms. It was pretty much one of your cliche condom commercials about how their particular brand of latex is more enjoyable to jackhammer away with and whatnot. But at the end of the commercial the announcer says 100% satisfaction guaranteed or return them for your money back. Alright, that is absolutely ridiculous. Who is the poor bastard that has to open up all those envelopes? I guess my job ain't all that bad. Heres to Friday.