Friday, April 23, 2004

Things that I hate

I hate that one intersection with the red light that never changes to green.

I hate liquor stores that don't accept credit cards.

I hate the ten seconds between the time you turn off the shower and you wrap a towel around yourself.

I hate how news reporters announce war casualties like it's the score of today's baseball game.

I hate baseball unless I am drinking beer or a team from Chicago is in the playoffs.

I hate when you go to rent a particular movie and every single copy is checked out.

I hate paying late fees for any movie that Rob Schneider acted in.

I hate infomercials that sell miracle kitchen products with a has been actor, washed up sports star or a guy with a british accent as a host.

I hate reality tv.

I hate when your mom doesn't know how to use a computer and assumes you do.

I hate when bartenders put straws in gin and tonics.

I hate bars that have the music turned up so loud that you can't hear yourself think let alone carry on a decent conversation.

I hate when you put something on top of your car, forget that it's up there, and then start driving.

I hate when you burn a cd and your computer ejects it halfway through with an error message, and you take the cd and throw it across the room.

I hate everything Bob Dylan did in the 80's except for "Oh Mercy".

I hate when bands release special edition albums with extra songs after you've already paid for the original.

I hate pop up ads that tell you that you have won something when just by the very fact that you are looking at a pop up ad means that you've lost.

I hate when you go to a free beer party and all they are serving is Berryweis.

I hate those pine tree shaped car air fresheners.

I hate when gas is more than 2 dollars a gallon.

I hate when people smoke in bars.

I hate people who patronize you.

I hate typing hate so many times.

I hate you.

a note from one of my readers
We need you to point our problems out for that when we meet our shrinks, we don't have to waste time explaining things, we can just hand over your book and say "meet me when your done with this, i'll be at the bar."