Thursday, April 22, 2004

The other day I was sitting at a red light in morning traffic and all of a sudden some guy gets out of his car and flips me the bird. I look closely and realize that it's one of my buddies from High School. As the light turned green again, he hopped back in the car, and I pulled out my cell phone for the traditional phone call to the car you're driving right behind tactic. I got him on the phone as we drove slowly down the far right side of the expressway, and he explained how difficult his life is and how it sucks that he has to get up so early for work. Then he asked me, "Are you on your way to work," and I said, "no I'm going to the circus." He didn't believe me, so I started explaining to him how I was going to hang out with a bunch of clowns, feed peanuts to elephants, and eat cotton candy and whatnot. He said, "You are going to stare at a computer screen for the next 8 hours and you know it." He was right.

I was watching tv the other night and saw a commerical for Valtrex, a pill for genital herpes. And I thought to myself, who dates the girl that's in that commercial. I mean how does that work? You bring the girl home to your relatives, and you say, "Hi meet my girlfriend so and so, she's an actress," and they ask, "oh that's nice what work has she done?" and you say, "She's the girl from those genital herpes commercials." That must make for one uncomfortable family dinner.

I was out tonight to celebrate my great uncle's 81st birthday. what a great man. I hope that I'm able to stay around that long and go to the dog track every wednesday and drink old styles. Don't you sometimes wish that you could just skip straight to retirement? Cut out all this working and suffering bullshit and just go directly to the time when you have shitloads of money and can just hang out, drink beers, buy expensive ocean property in florida and go to the early bird special at sizzler every night. One can dream.