Tuesday, April 06, 2004

10 Really Dumb Things to do During the Springtime

1. Ask the girl who changed your oil at Jiffy Lube last week out on a date to an expensive French restaurant.

2. Call 100 of your closest friends and tell them that you just moved into a new apartment in the city and that you are having a huge party this Saturday at 8:00pm. When 100 people call you on Saturday sitting outside the address that you gave them, laugh and tell them that you were only kidding and that you still live in your parent's basement.

3. Impress chicks by cruising down the streets of your town with the windows rolled down, wind blowing through your hair, blasting news radio 78 as loud as your stereo will go.

4. Cash your paycheck at a currency exchange even though you have a bank account.

5. File a sexual harrassment lawsuit against a female coworker even though she is 15 years older than you, married, and clearly doesn't find you attractive.

6. Burn a compilation cd of death metal songs and mail it to an old friend that you don't talk to anymore for no reason whatsoever.

7. Break into an SUV and steal the stereo even though you have a better one in your car. Put stolen stereo on your shelf next to your baseball trophies from 4th grade.

8. Next weekend at a bar instead of asking a girl for her phone number, ask for her e-mail address. Have your Mom write you a letter of recommendation the following day.

9. This Friday spend your entire paycheck on filet o' fish sandwiches from Golden Arches even though you don't like fish or Golden Arches.

10. Talk to someone you can't stand at a party and pretend that what they are saying is interesting.