Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Walmart is the worst place on the earth. I went there today to purchase my own Catch Phrase, which if you weren't aware, is the drunken party game sweeping the nation. Anyways I'm standing in line and all of a sudden this rather large woman brings her kid to the front of the store. This little girl is just screaming at the top of her lungs. I didn't even know a 3 year old girl could be capable of creating such horrible noise. And it's just giving me and the entire store a piercing headache and of course the woman stays in line and just lets the girl scream her head off. I listen closely and realize that this little girl is screaming because she wants a hotdog from the Walmart concession stand. Now while I don't know why any person would willingly eat a Walmart hotdog, I wanted to buy the girl a hot dog and jam it down her throat in the worst way so she would shut the fuck up. God I hate Walmart and hot dogs and screaming little girls. Catch Phrase however is still sweet.

I saw a billboard today for a new Christian radio station in Chicago called 107.9 "The Fish." Listening to an hour of "fish radio" is probably about as enjoyable as brushing your teeth and drinking orange juice.

You know that horrible group of people known as the "pen clickers." You're at school, you're at work and some idiot is just clicking away at the top of his pen so rapidly that you can't even think straight. I hated those people. Until two months ago when I realized that I too am a pen clicker. Even when I think I've hidden every clickable pen in the office, I'll be sitting in the middle of a meeting and realize I am clicking away like it's my job. Usually when I realize this I start screaming and then throw the pen as far across the office as possible, and then sit back down in the meeting like nothing happened.

Boy, I could use a hot dog right about now.