Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Graduating From College Sucks

These are the times that graduating from college sucks. When you realize that the whole concept of Spring Break doesn't exist anymore for you. When you're buddies who are still in college call you up at ridiculous hours and leave voicemails of them yelling "spring motherfucking break" at the top of their lungs.

I've found a way to soothe the pain though. I've noticed that if I sit on the couch after work, drink beer and watch taped episodes of MTV spring break, that I don't want to shoot myself as much. I mean theres no better cardiovascular workout than dancing to old episodes of "the grind" pretending that you are in the crowd, gettin all fresh with hot chicks and junk. sweet.

I'm really sick of all this Atkin's Diet bullshit. I swear to God, I'm like the only person who isn't on either Atkin's or this South Beach nonsense. Someone'll be like, "dude you have to try these new Atkins snacks, a handful is only 3 carbs." Yeah they're only 3 carbs, but they taste like fucking card board.

and don't even get me started on these "breadless sandwiches." You're sitting eating lunch and you see the asshole next to you eating a few pieces of ham with mustard on it, off his fucking hand. What the fuck is that all about??

Even Golden Arches is starting to make their meals more healthy for all you crazy South Beach fucks or not

If you are looking for me you can find me on North Beach. Well, North Pole Beach. Freezing my ass off, eating salami sandwiches with big pieces of white bread, sucking down cherry cokes, on my half hour lunch break.

Welcome to the new Spring Break. Fuckers