Sunday, March 14, 2004

Chicago St. Patrick's Day Parade in the Loop

If you really want to get technical a Parade is nothing more than a 2 hour marching advertisement. Everyone's got some product or agenda to sell and it's great that an Irish holiday gives them the opportunity.

The parade was filled with 5 million fucking no-name politicians that you will probably never hear from again. I mean is there really any reason for like the alderman of Chicago Water Sanitation to have his own float? Is handing a drunken 23 year old wearing a big green foam hat a pamphlet really going to help your campaign any?

Chipotle had a huge inflatable burrito that a bunch of leprechauns marched down Columbus street. Apparently even burritos are Irish in Chicago St. Patty's day parades. Go figure

Dumbest quote from the parade.
A guy dressed up as Ronald Mc Donald was standing up out of the sun roof of a Mc Donald's themed SUV and has his back turned to us.
Buddy - "Hey Ronald"
Ronald - (turns around and looks at my friend)
Buddy - "You gave me Herpes"

favorite bar name: stocks and blondes

After the parade we went into a place called the Cactus Bar at which point one of our buddies that had had way too much to drink tried to buy every drop of alcohol in the bar. I'm sure most of you guys have one of those friends that once they get about 8 drinks in them they start throwing money around like it grows on trees. Apparently these people know something I don't. I'm still looking for the seeds to plant said trees, but until I find them I will be putting my agricultural urges aside. Thanks for the drinks.